her vagine was all disorganized.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
