And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
