ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just cropdusted the office
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
