Whod you bang
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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