butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I need water and some morals
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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