how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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