i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm just crazy horny about you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i think my cat just said my name.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
