Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
