Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
