I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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