just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
