I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
