whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
