my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
