It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
