you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
