Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
