My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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