This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
