if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
