We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
