we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
