he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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