I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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