My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do you have feelings for this penis?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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