somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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