We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
