My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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