I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
