i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this boner is exhausting
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
