So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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