I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
