Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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