so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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