Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
