if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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