Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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