I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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