only you would photoshop your dick
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
