i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
