Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
