She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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