yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
