Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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