what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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