it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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