never play flip cup with pint glasses
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is my gift to your gina
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
