i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
