You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
