i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
