Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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