Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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