ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
